I was very proud to find my name, next to my poem ‘Left Field’ on the long list for The Plough Prize in 2007, discovered quite by accident years later.
So I can imagine how pleased Afric McGlinchey was, I’m sure just as thrilled, when her poem ‘A River of Familiars’ appeared in this year’s longlist.
I proudly own a copy of the E-book “The Star of Hidden Things” published by Ireland’s foremost publisher of poetry; Salmon Poetry – a literal feast of magnificent word-obsession.
Like Afric McGlinchey, I was raised in a kinder Africa where, I felt loved and accepted and totally enfolded in the arms of my melting-pot community.
Her poems brought my African childhood back to me so clearly, I’m about to order her latest publication through Salmon Poetry; “Ghost of the Fisher Cat” which includes the Plough Prize longlisted poem, “A River of Familiars”.
There are millions, just like you who either don’t acknowledge this day as anything to do with ‘love’ or find themselves alone either by choice or by circumstance.
So no – you’re not alone.
And if you feel you need a greeting – say ‘Happy Valentine’s Day’ to yourself.
Take all those images, sayings and special touches applied to this day – turn them around to face you.
Take yourself out and do something that makes you feel wonderful – because you must be.
We are all worthy of a celebration every day of the year – not just today.
I’ve seen all of these movies and couldn’t resist sharing these quotes because I know, if you want love it will find you… eventually – if you let it.
I once dreaded Valentine’s Day so much I wrote a scathing article about it. Then I changed my mind and wrote another one in 2005:
I now believe love can happen at any age.
Yes, I admit I was a doubter for a long, long time and hated – even dreaded Valentine’s Day thinking I’d used up all my chances when I was young and that being older meant love and romance shouldn’t be on my wish list… so it wasn’t!
Well, I am here to prove to you all that it still should be. I am 54 and have just found romance again. I’m not slim, rich or famous but I am in love!
I’ve finally married the man I was in love with (in Africa) and ran away from to Australia, 30 years ago.
In Ireland, he found my name quite by accident (on the net), contacted me, and although continents divided us, proceeded to systematically smash down my not-inconsiderable barriers. He deleted all my negatives; wooed me with words, romance, flowers and finally, convinced me to try love again.
Our love story began in 1974. I was 23 and living in Zambia, I fell madly in love with an Irish rock-n-roller who wasn’t quite ready for me. Broken-hearted and determined to get as far away as possible, I caught a plane to Western Australia and wallowed in poetry.
I met and just weeks later married a bronzed Aussie on (wait for it) Valentine’s Day – 14th February 1975, saw him through Uni, produced two beautiful children and divorced in the 80’s. From then on I hated Valentine’s Day.
But I worked hard at any job I could get, loved my kids and kept busy and distracted from my divorcee label with part-time courses and community work. I thoroughly enjoyed being in charge of me and secretly kept writing, even wrote a novel but never had the courage to let anyone see it.
Until 1998, I always treated writing as a side dish and love was never on the menu. I couldn’t even write about romance except to say that I dreaded all the hype of Valentine’s Day. I didn’t want or expect romance in my life.
After seeing both my children through University, they left home happily stepping in their own living-dreams directions. The empty nest loomed large. There was just me – only me to concentrate on. So I threw away the safe cocoon of full-time Bank employment.
At the age of 48 I took casual jobs and began my dream – a full-time degree in creative writing at University. Surrounded by clever young things used to study, it was very hard. Not the writing – never the writing; but paying bills – you learn never to waste precious sheets of paper again.
But I didn’t give up – I kept going because my kids were so proud of me. Romance still wasn’t necessary. I was way too busy with myself to spend any time on or with anyone else. I didn’t recognise that I was busy romancing myself.
After graduation I was taking my first tentative steps into a new writing career; it was January 2002. My Irish rock-n-roller recognised my name on the net – a million-to-one chance! Both now over 50, he lived in Ireland and I was in Australia, neither of us looking for each other or love.
To prove the point, I sent him a scathing magazine article I had written filled with the hate of romantic hype. Undeterred on Valentine’s Day he asked if I was accepting Valentines from old boyfriends and my still-youthful heart zinged, surprisingly pierced well and truly by Cupid’s arrow. I was a terrified cliché!
Three screamingly silent days later I admitted; “I have always believed that if I ever found my ideal love – a complete acceptance of all that I am; absolute loyalty, unconditional support, encouragement and equality, from someone who would accept and expect nothing less than the same from me… then also mix in intellect, curiosity, humour and chemistry… I WOULD GRAB LOVE – with both hands and never let go!
But I would have to be sure that it was real and not another illusion. An illusion created by my own idealistic and romantic pedestal-placing heart, projected onto a smooth talker; a charming, talented, kind and careful person who has lovely manners, is courteous and doesn’t want to hurt me… I’ve done that before and it didn’t work out!”
Phone lines and emails ran hot for six months between Ireland and Australia, while we explored the possibility of romance and dealt with doubts from both sides.
“I’m not your 23 year old with a ‘girl next door’ look, anymore… I’m over fifty and although I present well socially, once the wrapping is removed… It’s not that I don’t want to consider the possibility and I admit; since the surprising thought hit me, I have spent a lot of time completely distracted by that. But I don’t think I’m ready – I’m not a tease (I’m talking about actions, not flirty words) and can’t promise what I can’t deliver… this is all new…”
He climbed aboard his silver charger, brandished words with conviction, clothed in romance and arrived in Perth. Thirty years melted away when he touched me. We married last year, surrounded by family and yachts. I am in love again AND living my dream to write full-time!
Recently I was asked to write a poem for a wedding. Three years ago I couldn’t have written any poem about romantic love. Thankfully, my Irish rock-n-roller proved me very wrong.
So I thought I’d start with some favourite flowers (everywhere at the moment) and another poem from my old notebook, this time from 1986 when I found myself having to face the end of my marriage with two young children:
Those two young children turned out to be my saviours ~ they taught me so much, kept me going when I wanted to just lay down and give up. I am so proud of them both; they have given me the ultimate gift ~ beautiful grandchildren.
And for those of you who suffered, like I did, it IS possible to love again although it took me 17 years of being on my own to believe it.
Even though I actually predicted a second time for myself, in this poem, I didn’t believe it at the time ~ I think I was trying to give myself hope… in 1986 I swore off romance and love for good!
After 28 years the man I was in love with (and should probably have married) in 1975 and on another continent (Africa) found me ~ we’ve just celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary.
So with my returned love and a family full of love, I look forward to what 2016 will bring. I know it’s going to be all good!
Thank you for reading my blog ~ whatever the old year meant to you, I hope this new year will bring you what you need and maybe, something you dream about…
20th March 2014 ~ AMcCS entertained us at UWA, in Perth.
Alexander McCall Smith posted a note on Facebook to his fans today and I’d like to quote the last bit:
QUOTE: May I conclude with lines from a poem I wrote some time ago. I have included it in a small pamphlet I published this Christmas, “The Heart of Each of Us”. It talks about love and about Agape, that form of selfless love of others that is so strong and so important. Here are the lines:
“What we lose, we think we lose forever, But we are wrong about this: think of love – Love is lost, we think it gone, But it returns, often when least expected, Forgives us our lack of attention, our failure of faith, Our cold indifference; forgives us all this, and more; Returns and says, “I was always there”. Love, agape, whispers: “Merely remember me, Don’t think I’ve gone away forever; I am still here. With you. My power undimmed, See, I am here.”
I'm happy for you to share what's published here, so long as Frances Macaulay Forde is credited appropriately.
It would also be a great courtesy if you let me know when and where you've shared my work.
“Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigues of supporting it.” Thomas Paine - "Limitation is essential to authority. A government is legitimate only if it is effectively limited." ~ Lord Acton - Commentary on what interests me, reflecting my personal take on the world
Perth Words... exploring possibilities. 